So we just got back from a western canada long weekend tour with our friends nü sensae. it was probably the longest tour weve ever done and probably shortest for nu sensae.
We started it off the same way we start off any show and that is to make merch super last minute and rush like crazy. so adam and i spent all of wed afternoon bleaching t shirts on my roof and then printing them late into the night (with some help from a couple keystones and some bottom bag of course) meanwhile nu sensae were busy putting on a show down the street for a band from oakland.
At around 1 am we met up in front of their jam space to start the tetris (for those of you who don't know, this is how you load the van really efficiently). we all loaded gear while Adam made a peanut butter sandwich with his tour supplies: an over sized jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread. we started to drive at around 1:30 am. with the long haul to Calgary ahead of us we did what any band would do, smoked pot and music games in the van.first was the one where you had to name a band and the person next to you had to name one that started with the last letter of the previous. it was going pretty well, but then people started to lose and get "out" on the y's and x's. it was down to Adam and Daniel and we were stopped at a hortons/gas station in hope. after smoking we all went inside and ordered. kyle got his infamous double double, i got a water, Andrea got a bagel and Daniel got two timbits, one for him and one for his bass player. the game ended when Adam said "nirvana" for "n". what a dummy, that's what i started the game out with. he then proceeded to tell everyone how he hates nirvana even more now that they lost him the game.
Not too much happened until around 12 pm the next day when we arrived in golden BC. Eugenie and i being the only drivers, were falling asleep at the wheel and needed to crash. Adam and eug's plan was to just "go and sleep in some bush" so we left them to it and the remaining members went to browse around the local Bargain World. gems were found, necessities too.Me, kyle and the dynamic duo of nu sensae went on a hunt for food, but all we found was a Chinese restaurant that also sold clothes, a weird art gallery and a gift shop that had the best t shirt ever printed. it said "golden, Canada's g-spot", thanks for that golden. after getting many bad stares we found this cafe and ordered food. Daniel was weirded out by the ice cubes and thought they looked like eyeballs. it was quite good, but the server didn't seem too pleased with us.
The muffler of the van broke and fell down. we tied it up with some wire but now the truck was louder than hell the rest of tour. or as Eugene put it "more manly sounding"
We got into Calgary around 6 pm. it took way longer than in should have but we were there regardless. food was needed and because nu sensae had played Calgary numerous times, they directed us to tubby dog. tubby dog takes regular hot dogs and turns them in to meals. Adam got the a-bomb (how appropriate) it had cheese, bacon, onions and ketchup chips on top. rug and kyle got the original tubby with everything on it, including chili. Andrea and i split some yam fries and a couple huge pickles. this would be the start of our pickle craze that still hasn't ended yet.
Next stop was the liquor store. tnt for kyle and rug, something else for the other dudes. Andrea and i were fascinated by all the different mini bottles of booze by the cash register and spent about ten minutes examining all of them and trying to justify buying one "for my mom" or because "its so cool" neither of us did.
Some guy came up to us in the park and hassled us for smokes. we didn't budge, we were on a budget man and by this time i think we were still on packs of 20 from bc. my sleep deprivation and the fact that he started coughing right into the group of us kinda lit my fuse and i told him to fucking cough somewhere else and we didn't have any goddang cigarettes. he left saying he was going to come back and kick all of our asses.We got to the venue and started loading in. we were playing vern's, apparently the most hated, shittiest venue in all of Calgary according to everyone and we were about to find out why. we quickly found out that there was only one guy working the whole bar that night. i mean he was doing sound, the bar, the kitchen, everything. he offered kyle 100 bucks to do door all night. he regretfully accepted. we called the guy vern, that wasn't actually his name, but we didn't care. he was an asshole. between bands, the music was so quiet so Adam as
ked him if he could turn it up. bad move Adam, vern snapped back with "why!? for the shock value? yeah right!". he wouldn't let our good friend Noah do sound for us (for free), he flipped out at me for putting my cab too close to him when we was trying to set up drum mics, he yelled at Daniel during sound check and taught him the "proper way" and "real purpose" of sound check,. and at the end of it all he didn't pay kyle the 100 bucks he was said he would. so after all this crap, kyle was pissed. he flipped out on vern while i was in the van so i didn't catch it but apparently someone filmed it on their iphone. so it might be floating around. kyle told me he had to "refrain from physical violence". the sound was alright but if it wasn't for nu sensae playing, no body would have been there. we left with a new enemy made and a few souvenirs to ease the pain. needless to say, if you are in a band, do not play at verns, he will fuck you hard. oh ya, some wasted guy tried to pick me up and another dude on acid thought Eugene was jack black and asked for an autograph. eug promptly took a pen and piece of paper and wrote "fuck off". the guy took it home and probably framed it.
We went and stayed with friends of Andrea and Daniel. Josiah and Sara were so awesome to us and fun to hang out with. we all got a very well deserved sleep and had many laughs about vern that were'nt soon forgotten.
Up at around noon we left town at one for Edmonton. before settling on the crack-filled highway we fuelled up. gas for the van and various foods from the mall food court for us. on the way out of the mall, we all loaded up on the quarter candy machines. crazy bananas were the hit and we collectively spent around 5 dollars (in quarters) on that shit.
There was traffic on the highway from some chemical spill, and the fact that we were crawling along prompted Daniel to start serenading unsuspecting passengers in the lane next to us with such hits as "candyman", "crazy in love" and Eugene's all time favorite "single ladies".We rolled into Edmonton around 6 pm, found the venue and loaded in. i could already tell that this was going to be better than last night because the music was louder than 3 decibels and there was more than one person working the bar. rod the promoter was super nice and told us where the liquor depot was. we headed over there so a couple bevies. after hours and hours of talking about it, Andrea and i split a bottle of blood orange mimosa and to our surprise (and benefit) it came with a free stick of lip balm. we found a nice elementary school park and told stories of drunken adventures and high-school shenanigans. Daniel did a sexy dance on the top of this crazy dome thing while there were some 10 year olds playing soccer right next to us.
Later before the show, we walked to whyte ave to see what downtown Edmonton looked like on a Friday night. blech. a few donairs were had, a couple clubhouses and a lucky or two. Andrea got some crazy religious zines from a dude on the street that provided some entertainment the next day.
The show was way better than verns and after the show, rod let us smoke in the bar. didn't really matter to me cause i don't smoke but everyone else was super stoked.
we got a bunch of beer and headed back to aaron and chris' house where we got invited to crash at. jared read, our good friend from new west was in town so he came too and spearheaded a singalong that would go until the wee hours of the morning on the back porch. they belted out such classics as "my heart will go on", "i will always love you", "18 and life" "panama" and many more including some creed song. then at around 4 they stopped and i heard them leave for a "sprit quest" since there were a lot of hallucinagenics consumed.the next day was a long fucking drive. we had to get to kamloops from edmonton and thatw as around 800 km. i set my alaram for 8 but stupidly forgot about the time difference in alberta so we got up at 9. headed over to the venue and started the tetris, haggard as ever. i saw rod in his underwear too.
we drove and drove and drove. passing (and stopping at) too many a&w's (this tour was sponsored by 2 mama burgers for 4 bucks by the way). we got to the loops around 7:30 and using todays premiere technology found the venue no problem. i walked in and looked around and came back out and said to everyone "we're playing at earls". seriously. what the hell were we, and all these crust punks doing at this place? we were about to find out. the lunch crew kyle, danny boy, andrea and i hit up senor froggys and pigged out on cheap mexican fast food before the set which was not the smartest idea.
shithawk opened the show with a performance that would rival any other band with a bass player on mushrooms. but seriously, shithawk rules. their drummer had only been in the band for 8 days and two jams. next up were the intruders also from vancouver but born and raised in kamloops. their set was pretty killer and they did a lot of cocaine. they ruled, pretty bluesy and jammy just the way we like it. nu sensae was next and it was the best show of the tour, belting out such classics as "worms" and "graceland" they didnt play my favorite song "total drift" though, fucking assholes. the crowd of crusty's and ballers went nuts for them and they even got an encore! the wiz played last and played what i thought was one of the best shows weve ever done, that may have been the weed and double gin's talking though. we played through almost all our songs new and old. we didnt get paid that much but we sold a lot of merch.
there was an after party, so we tetris'd the fuck outta there and had a navigator to where we were staying so we could drop of the van. we stayed in this rad tralier owned by matthew bayley of shithawk. he was nice enough to let us crash on the floor. i stayed behind with andrea and daniel cause we had to leave at 8 am the next day and it was already 3. daniel soon passed out leaving only andrea and i. we made some decaf earl grey, smoked a joint and sat on the stoop gazing out into this amazing trailer park, fantasizing about living there.
we were up late, at nine. and since daniel and andrea had to be back intown by 12 to go see hole in seattle, we had to boogie. we left matt a note and took rite off. driving way too fast and eating way too many baked ketchup chips. we hit the final A&W of the trip and i tried to order timbits with my poutine. it rained a lot on the way back to van, and we listened to a lot of dre.
home sweet home and surprisingly sunny out we arrived at around 2pm. exchanged numbers and said fairwell to the sensae. maybe well see them again some time.
